Monday, February 7, 2011


Talk about timing...last week the LA Times published this article questioning the value of bedrest. Thankfully I was at the end of my strict bedrest mandate when I read it, otherwise I might have had a complete freaking meltdown.  It is a really interesting article and actually didn't come as a total surprise (since our doctor indicated bedrest wasn't a sure-fire way to prevent preterm labor). I could definitely relate to the feelings the moms shared about the pain and exhaustion that bedrest yields, as well as how difficult it is emotionally and how little people really understand about what it is like to go through.  (I am convinced btw that there isn't a single person alive who doesn't think - at least just a little - "Come on, how bad could it be? I wish someone would tell me I had an excuse to do nothing for weeks at a time!").

One thing the article also reveals is that there is a big post-bedrest adjustment.  (Chalk this up as another thing some people don't understand - myself included.)  I wasn't prepared for the major adjustment to moving again! It's only been a week, but it's been a steep learning curve.  As my doctor put it, the body has to "recalibrate" itself to being a vertical again.  I was on some form of bedrest for four months - with the final six weeks horizontal for about 23 hours a day.  Once you reallly think about it, it does make sense that this would cause some pretty serious impact to the body - weakness, muscle cramps and aches, lack of strength and stamina, and oh the dizziness, etc.  And it is those physical things that makes it so hard mentally.  I mean, how can a woman feel okay about herself when she needs to lay down and take a break from the exhaustion produced by a ten minute shower? Or when your arm muscles have gotten so weak that you need a break from sprinkling glitter?

Now, all this said - the big thing missing from the article (and from this post so far) is this: NONE OF THIS MATTERS.  As a woman who lost three babies and wanted more than anything in the world to have another child, the pain and inconvenience of bedrest and recovering from bedrest doesn't mean squat! It just doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter that no medical journal has yet to publish a study revealing a strong positive correlation between bedrest and saving babies! What bedrest did for me was to give me a glimmer of hope and a sense of control over a situation that I really had no control over whatsoever.  Sure I knew the whole time that there were no guarantees, but I was willing to do whatever it took even if it wasn't a sure thing! And now, at 37 weeks with the whole bedrest thing behind me - I wouldn't have changed a thing.

We still worry every single day that something will go wrong and we won't get our happy ending. As illogical as that might sound at this point, it is just the natural defense of people who have been hurt the way that we have. I guess we have to kind of "recalibrate" our thoughts as well. Many of you are helping us to do that. Thanks for sharing this journey with us. I guess what I'm saying is, thanks to those of you who continue to reach out and try to understand.  We're almost there...