Happy Half Birthday Posie!

Today is Josie's half birthday. She is three & a half (which is crazy). We don't typically highlight the half way point, but it took on new significance this year since it was celebrated at school. They make a big deal out of birthdays in Montessori and since she has a summer birthday, her half birthday got to be shared today with her friends and "school family."  Lou & I were invited into the classroom to share this special event.

Our special morning started with an enthusiastic round of "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes" -

 Then it was time to get out the special birthday mat, light the candle to represent the sun, and then choose a globe to make the journey -

 Josie took her first trip 'round the sun -

 And her second -

 And her third (and obviously *loved* every second of it) -

 Then she got to sit in front of the mat and hear special wishes from her classmates (several of which centered around wishes that she would get lots of candy which was too funny) -

Then Josie got to make her own special birthday wish. Here she is really, really putting a lot of thought into it. Finally, she said sweetly "OH, I definitely have my wish now" (a secret wish by the way).

 Then she snuffed out her candle -

 And it was time to pass out birthday treats and share a book with the class.  (Oh & I should've probably mentioned sooner that it was also Pajama Day today at school - hence everyone's wardrobe.)

 Next I got to read a book to the class which brought back lots of memories of reading to second graders.

We were all smiling and laughing through the book together -

 And 3-6 year old kids are just nothing short of hysterical...obviously -

Finally everyone got to enjoy the special heart, puppy & people cookies that we made for the class. It was the perfect morning and we are so grateful that she goes to such an incredible school!

The Backstory: Last week Josie wasn't able to enjoy a birthday cookie with her classmates because her teachers weren't sure it was safe and peanut-free. She had a rice cake while her friends had cookies.  We definitely appreciated that the teachers kept Josie's safety as the top priority. But Josie was so sad about it Friday night that she couldn't sleep until we talked through a solution.  Part of that solution was getting to take similar cookies - with sprinkles and frosting - to school the next week for her half birthday.  Tia saved the day by sharing her fantastic sugar cookie recipe & Louie saved the day by coming home for his lunch break on Thursday to help make the dough so it would have chill in order to be ready for Josie to bake and decorate last night.  All in all - everyone was happy & most importantly - Josephine felt so special today! In her words, "today was so awesome!"   (And I am so grateful I was able to come. I was worried I would either still be on bedrest or have the baby already and have to miss it.)

One more thing: This morning I said to Lou, "I can't believe she is half-way to being 4."  His response, "She's 3 1/2...that's half-way to 7."  Um....wow.

Ooops - two more things actually: I originally forgot to post about the fact that on each trip around the sun, Lou & I got to share an event that marked that year for Josie. It was definitely an emotional moment to see the passage of time zoom by so quickly.  The other thing is that when Josie's teacher asked what she hoped to learn about this year now that she's one year older (and wiser), Josie said she wants to learn about space.  She's been very interested lately in trying to figure out how we can live on the earth when the earth is actually in outer space. There have been some big questions lately - time to hit amazon for some space-themed books to satisfy this new curiosity. I love her little mind!

One Month of Four Schneiders

Well friends, I have to say I am really, really flattered by the great response to our new Four Schneiders blog. We launched this blog exactly one month ago, and have had over 3200 visits already!  I am so grateful that so many of you are sharing this journey with us.
We would love to hear more about who is visiting - please leave us a comment to say Hi. (You can leave "anonymous" comments and just sign your name if you don't want to create an account.) We are so glad you're here! Thanks for visiting. :)

Homemade Pizza in 15 Easy Steps

1. Roll out the dough.

2. Really get into rolling out the dough.

3. Toss the dough with Daddy.

4. Share a little tushie with the audience.

5. Learn from a pro.

6. Sprinkle the cheese.

7. Seal it with a kiss - MWAH - and stick it in the oven.

8. Dive into the leftover cheese, assuming that no one is watching.

9. Realize you are so busted!

9. Go in for some more.

10. Shoot mom that sly little grin that you know she can't say no to.

11. Really go for it.

12. Remember that smile will buy you some more time with the cheese.

13. Really, really go for it - every last speck of cheese - straight from the counter.

15. Remove any excess cheese from your fingers to conceal all the evidence (having no idea it is literally everywhere - head to toe - even in your hair).

(Isn't it great how the smallest, seemingly most insignificant moments turn into the best family memories? Oh how I love little moments like these!)

37 week update

Despite the fact that I either still have the stomach flu or got the stomach flu again, things are looking better in week 37.  My body is getting used to moving again (although this darn stomach bug laid me up for a few more days).  I am also starting to feel the tell-tale signs of impending labor - the achy hips, the notorious "waddle", and the "ah heck this is really gonna happen, isn't it" panic attacks. 

At my doctor's appointment today, we discovered that my body is starting to progress toward labor again now that I am off of bedrest. Contractions have picked back up, I am a 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced and the baby is now head down and low at -2 station.  As anyone who has had a baby knows, that really doesn't mean diddly. I could go into labor tonight or in another month. One thing is for sure - we trust that she will come when she's ready.  Um...maybe we should try to get ready ourselves.

I am a little nervous about our plans for another unmedicated childbirth in the physical condition I am in and really hope that we're not in store for another 18-hour active labor marathon like Miss Josephine's (check out her birth story here).  That said, we have a doula we really trust, I know Lou will be the "rock" that he was last time, and I know what my body is capable of doing.  Our wish is for a couple more weeks of healing and recovery from the bedrest and stomach virus before we enter into the craziness of having a newborn.  We'll see...  :)

My Ambitious Valentine

You would think I learned my lesson last year after spending a solid week on the Flamingo Valentines that Josephine saw in a magazine and "had to" make. This year, we thought we were going for something more simple - until we got to Michael's. That's when Josie proudly announced that the valentines for her class were going to have "paint and glitter and stickers." We are now on day three of creating 24 hand-made, heart-shaped, painty, glittery, gluey valentines. I gotta say - I love her creativity! (And again her generous little spirit shines, as she is so excited to be making and giving something to all of her friends that she can hardly stand it!)

Recalibrating

Talk about timing...last week the LA Times published this article questioning the value of bedrest. Thankfully I was at the end of my strict bedrest mandate when I read it, otherwise I might have had a complete freaking meltdown.  It is a really interesting article and actually didn't come as a total surprise (since our doctor indicated bedrest wasn't a sure-fire way to prevent preterm labor). I could definitely relate to the feelings the moms shared about the pain and exhaustion that bedrest yields, as well as how difficult it is emotionally and how little people really understand about what it is like to go through.  (I am convinced btw that there isn't a single person alive who doesn't think - at least just a little - "Come on, how bad could it be? I wish someone would tell me I had an excuse to do nothing for weeks at a time!").

One thing the article also reveals is that there is a big post-bedrest adjustment.  (Chalk this up as another thing some people don't understand - myself included.)  I wasn't prepared for the major adjustment to moving again! It's only been a week, but it's been a steep learning curve.  As my doctor put it, the body has to "recalibrate" itself to being a vertical again.  I was on some form of bedrest for four months - with the final six weeks horizontal for about 23 hours a day.  Once you reallly think about it, it does make sense that this would cause some pretty serious impact to the body - weakness, muscle cramps and aches, lack of strength and stamina, and oh the dizziness, etc.  And it is those physical things that makes it so hard mentally.  I mean, how can a woman feel okay about herself when she needs to lay down and take a break from the exhaustion produced by a ten minute shower? Or when your arm muscles have gotten so weak that you need a break from sprinkling glitter?

Now, all this said - the big thing missing from the article (and from this post so far) is this: NONE OF THIS MATTERS.  As a woman who lost three babies and wanted more than anything in the world to have another child, the pain and inconvenience of bedrest and recovering from bedrest doesn't mean squat! It just doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter that no medical journal has yet to publish a study revealing a strong positive correlation between bedrest and saving babies! What bedrest did for me was to give me a glimmer of hope and a sense of control over a situation that I really had no control over whatsoever.  Sure I knew the whole time that there were no guarantees, but I was willing to do whatever it took even if it wasn't a sure thing! And now, at 37 weeks with the whole bedrest thing behind me - I wouldn't have changed a thing.

We still worry every single day that something will go wrong and we won't get our happy ending. As illogical as that might sound at this point, it is just the natural defense of people who have been hurt the way that we have. I guess we have to kind of "recalibrate" our thoughts as well. Many of you are helping us to do that. Thanks for sharing this journey with us. I guess what I'm saying is, thanks to those of you who continue to reach out and try to understand.  We're almost there...

nice way to start the day

Why not rollerskate around the house in your jammies at 7am on a sunday morning?

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Blast from the Past

All this talk of the new baby coming has Lou and I reflecting on how quickly our sweet little baby Josephine has grown up. We are so proud of the amazing little girl she has become.  Here are a few photos of Josie from exactly three years ago this week - it was during our trip to LA for a legal conference. She was just six months old.

We're alive

It's been a very insane set of days around here - with a pretty significant sewage back-up, the stomach flu, and ice storm and Lou getting a big case settled in Lexington.  Not fun for anyone to say the least.
HOWEVER - in happier news - today is my birthday, I hit the 36 week pregnant mark and I AM NO LONGER ON BEDREST.  I have lots to say about the past six weeks and hope to get a good update post together soon. But, for today, I'm dealing with some strange stomach flu relapse after feeling better yesterday and still trying to rehydrate and rest.  Thanks for all the birthday wishes!

a little practice...

...in her cincinnati ballet academy uniform before leaving for class this morning

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Three Little Birds

This post as been simmering for quite awhile.  I've made references to our three little birds many times before, and I'm finally ready to tell the whole story. It goes something like this...

As most of you know by now, we have lost three babies on our journey from Carri & Lou to "Four Schneiders." We had two early, first trimester losses - one before Josie and one after. And then we lost Camille in the second trimester after a year of trying to conceive, and that just about broke us.  The morning after we said goodbye to Camille, there were three little birds on the ledge of our condo downtown. This was unusual because, while we had our fair share of pigeons in the city, three random birds on the ledge was a rarity. Instantly, these three little birds became the way we symbolized and remembered our three little babies.

To add to that, we are huge Elizabeth Mitchell fans. No strangers to Bob Marley either, we've always loved Elizabeth's rendition of "Three Little Birds" on the first CD of hers that we bought.  The thing is, that CD ("You Are My Little Bird") was the only thing that calmed sweet Josie and that song has always had special meaning.  The first time I heard it, with teeny tiny Josie in her carseat behind me, I just sobbed.  I was so grateful (and so hormonal) and Elizabeth's daughter is singing along with this little tiny sweet voice, and I just cried and cried. We listened to that CD more times that I can seriously count and every time it got to that track, I always got a big lump in my throat. I'd think about that first day in the car when Josie was so small and I'd think about the day when she would eventually add her own little voice to the track. And then, one afternoon, it happened. Josie was old enough to sing along and her tiny "Don't worry about a thing, Cuz Every little thing is gonna be alright..." came floating from the backseat. And I wept again. The distance between the first time we heard the song and that moment had passed all too quickly.  By then, we had started having trouble conceiving and I took great solace in hearing sweet little Josephine remind me that everything would in fact be alright.

There have been other "three little bird" moments as well. For example, after each loss we looked for a way to memorialize the tiny life.  After the third loss, I was shopping on etsy for a way to remember the three babies and found this "three little birds" necklace that instantly felt right. I emailed the seller to buy it, explaining the significance to me and our losses and she shared her own personal story of infertility and loss and we remain friends to this day.  Here's the necklace. The crystal is a peridot for Josie's birthstone. And we will add another one for the new baby. :)

Yes, those three little birds have provided me comfort lots of times - and in the strangest of ways.  When we developed a bloodclot in the placenta at 13 weeks with this pregnancy and faced a threatened miscarriage, we were sent to specialists at Good Samaritan Hospital. We sat in the waiting room, extremely nervous to find out if we were losing our fourth baby. I went into the bathroom and would you believe - of all things - someone had put three little bird stickers right on the "specimen cabinet." I had to laugh at how funny of a coincidence it was, and just how hilarious that those little birds showed up in such a silly spot. And, in that moment, I knew everything was gonna be alright.

And it all came full circle later when we went to Chicago for Lyla's birthday. Elizabeth Mitchell and her daughter hit the opening notes of "Three Little Birds" at the concert, where we were sitting with The Austins in the front row. And here were the tears again, as I sat there and rubbed by pregnant belly and held my big girl Josie and looked over at my sister with Lyla and Michael with tiny baby Jack.  And again, I knew it would all be alright.



In fact, it's become somewhat of a mantra around here. In the darkest moments of this pregnancy, I had to remind myself: "There are only three little birds." I have no doubt that these little birds will continue to make appearances to all of us for the rest of our lives - in one way or another. And for that, I am grateful.