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Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
She has arrived!
Welcome Beatrice Starling Schneider. 9 lbs 5 oz of pure perfection.
Born at 1:08 pm with lots of support from louie, our doula, my family, and great doctors & nurses. Another hypnobirthing success story!!
Pictures posted later. It's cuddle-in-awe time now.
Born at 1:08 pm with lots of support from louie, our doula, my family, and great doctors & nurses. Another hypnobirthing success story!!
Pictures posted later. It's cuddle-in-awe time now.
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Monday, March 7, 2011
Remembering Camille
Tomorrow...Tuesday, March 8th is the one year anniversary of losing sweet baby Camille. It was exactly one year ago that we thought we had not only lost our third baby but that we had lost the possibility of ever having another child. (You can read the original post by clicking on that link above.)
Wednesday the 9th will be the anniversary of our trip to Good Samaritan Hospital where I had to have the D&C and we had to say good-bye to her. (One of the reasons we opted for an induction Monday night instead of later in the week because we just couldn't imagine getting through Wednesday without this birth first.)
I will not even begin to pretend that we understand the amazing synchronicity of the fact that we are headed to the same hospital to deliver our miracle child on the same exact day that we lost Camille and gave up all hope of ever having another baby. I can tell you that we don't think it is just a mere coincidence and that we do know there are amazing, powerful and unbelievable forces at work here.
It is - all at the same time - beautiful, tragic, miraculous & awe-inspiring. And it has left our heads and hearts reeling! (Remember we never ever thought we'd get to March with this baby. Considering that she has been coming "any day" since Christmas, it is even more amazing that she has chosen now to make her appearance. And I only came to the realization that this was happening recently when awaking from a deep sleep and suddenly being hit with Camille's memory and baby Roly Poly moving around my tummy.)
It's definitely a big WOW. And it's an incredibly-powerful reminder of how far we've come, how much we have to be grateful for and how important it is just to trust that, in the end, everything is going to be alright.
With that, it is just after 11pm and we are leaving soon to head to Good Sam where we will meet our doula, head up to L&D and start the second wave of our induction (after membrane stripping this afternoon that didn't kickstart labor as much as we hoped).
We feel the love and support of all of you that have shared this journey with us over the last year. And we can't wait to share the good news with all of you. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts!
Wednesday the 9th will be the anniversary of our trip to Good Samaritan Hospital where I had to have the D&C and we had to say good-bye to her. (One of the reasons we opted for an induction Monday night instead of later in the week because we just couldn't imagine getting through Wednesday without this birth first.)
I will not even begin to pretend that we understand the amazing synchronicity of the fact that we are headed to the same hospital to deliver our miracle child on the same exact day that we lost Camille and gave up all hope of ever having another baby. I can tell you that we don't think it is just a mere coincidence and that we do know there are amazing, powerful and unbelievable forces at work here.
It is - all at the same time - beautiful, tragic, miraculous & awe-inspiring. And it has left our heads and hearts reeling! (Remember we never ever thought we'd get to March with this baby. Considering that she has been coming "any day" since Christmas, it is even more amazing that she has chosen now to make her appearance. And I only came to the realization that this was happening recently when awaking from a deep sleep and suddenly being hit with Camille's memory and baby Roly Poly moving around my tummy.)
It's definitely a big WOW. And it's an incredibly-powerful reminder of how far we've come, how much we have to be grateful for and how important it is just to trust that, in the end, everything is going to be alright.
With that, it is just after 11pm and we are leaving soon to head to Good Sam where we will meet our doula, head up to L&D and start the second wave of our induction (after membrane stripping this afternoon that didn't kickstart labor as much as we hoped).
We feel the love and support of all of you that have shared this journey with us over the last year. And we can't wait to share the good news with all of you. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
"I-Day"
March 7th, 2011: Induction-Day
It's been a good weekend with Tia, Tio, Lyla, Jack, Grandma & DD here to distract us from the fact that Roly Poly is running behind schedule. For one thing, it took away all the fears I've had for the past 41 weeks that they wouldn't make it to Cincinnati for the birth and it's kept a very impatient Josie preoccupied as well.
So...here are the details (don't read on if things like a gal's cervix freak you out). At 1pm tomorrow we have an appointment in our doctor's office to have my membranes stripped. (Note: this is the exact thing that we had done at the 40 week mark with Josie and feel like it was the reason for our long and difficult labor with her.) As far as induction techniques go, this is widely considered the least invasive of medical interventions - and just trust me when I say we've tried all the non-medical methods. **Hopefully** this will kick things into gear and we'll shortly be in labor ourselves without further intervention. It worked with Josie, so we are confident it will.
If not, at 1am tomorrow night (technically 1am Tuesday 3/7/11) we will be officially induced at Good Samaritan Hospital. (Yes, 1am which is crazy but they schedule them every two hours 24/7 - don't get me started on the insanity of this. Likely the topic of a later post.) And here is where I reach out to all of you for your advice - if things haven't started on their own by 1am, I will have the choice between having my water broken or starting on pitocin. Does anyone out there know which is the lesser of two evils? (My gut says go for broken water over pit but my water broke with Josie with my fourth contraction and I labored for 18 hours sans water & have heard that labor after broken water is more intense than labor with water. So - I guess the question is: would it be better - knowing that we are going for another natural, unmedicated birth - to go on low-dose pit with my water intact or to break my water and hope I don't have to ever have the pit? Thoughts?! Experience? Anyone?)
So - that's the "plan". In other news, please send Josie some love. She's a super-emotional, way-more-sensitive-than-usual, pretty-darn-freaked-out-about-the-whole-thing little girl right now. Luckily, she's great at communicating with us and we've been able to address some of her fears (which range from thinking cousin Lyla is going to take Roly Poly with her back to Chicago to believing that Lou & I are going to have to stay at the hospital for 100 days). It's a pretty emotional time for the Schneiders. Thanks for the love.
We will keep everyone posted here and on facebook. Stay tuned...
(Oh - I forgot to mention - there is actually good reason for this induction tomorrow. I'm not going to actually go into it right now, but I promise you all that you will agree with our decision 100%.)
It's been a good weekend with Tia, Tio, Lyla, Jack, Grandma & DD here to distract us from the fact that Roly Poly is running behind schedule. For one thing, it took away all the fears I've had for the past 41 weeks that they wouldn't make it to Cincinnati for the birth and it's kept a very impatient Josie preoccupied as well.
So...here are the details (don't read on if things like a gal's cervix freak you out). At 1pm tomorrow we have an appointment in our doctor's office to have my membranes stripped. (Note: this is the exact thing that we had done at the 40 week mark with Josie and feel like it was the reason for our long and difficult labor with her.) As far as induction techniques go, this is widely considered the least invasive of medical interventions - and just trust me when I say we've tried all the non-medical methods. **Hopefully** this will kick things into gear and we'll shortly be in labor ourselves without further intervention. It worked with Josie, so we are confident it will.
If not, at 1am tomorrow night (technically 1am Tuesday 3/7/11) we will be officially induced at Good Samaritan Hospital. (Yes, 1am which is crazy but they schedule them every two hours 24/7 - don't get me started on the insanity of this. Likely the topic of a later post.) And here is where I reach out to all of you for your advice - if things haven't started on their own by 1am, I will have the choice between having my water broken or starting on pitocin. Does anyone out there know which is the lesser of two evils? (My gut says go for broken water over pit but my water broke with Josie with my fourth contraction and I labored for 18 hours sans water & have heard that labor after broken water is more intense than labor with water. So - I guess the question is: would it be better - knowing that we are going for another natural, unmedicated birth - to go on low-dose pit with my water intact or to break my water and hope I don't have to ever have the pit? Thoughts?! Experience? Anyone?)
So - that's the "plan". In other news, please send Josie some love. She's a super-emotional, way-more-sensitive-than-usual, pretty-darn-freaked-out-about-the-whole-thing little girl right now. Luckily, she's great at communicating with us and we've been able to address some of her fears (which range from thinking cousin Lyla is going to take Roly Poly with her back to Chicago to believing that Lou & I are going to have to stay at the hospital for 100 days). It's a pretty emotional time for the Schneiders. Thanks for the love.
We will keep everyone posted here and on facebook. Stay tuned...
(Oh - I forgot to mention - there is actually good reason for this induction tomorrow. I'm not going to actually go into it right now, but I promise you all that you will agree with our decision 100%.)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
An un-report, 40wks 4days
This isn't much of a report, because frankly not much has changed since my last update. I am in great spirits and know that every day brings us one day closer to the big moment. I've been getting lots of yoga and meditation in which I think will end up being the silver lining of this whole waiting game. The weather has been cooperating and we've had lots of sunshine which really does make each day easier.
I did realize yesterday, while trying to get in some early spring shopping for our little ladies, that it's no longer a good idea for me to be out walking around with the rest of the world. There's just something about being over 40 weeks pregnant with a baby half way down the birth canal that makes it nothing short of insane to try to do much of anything. So, I threw in the towel yesterday and have decided to stick close to home from now on. House is clean, laundry is caught-up and nothing left to do but to wait. (And trust me I am so grateful for this down time.)
So - with that - I'm going to take shower then make myself some lunch. Maybe do some online shopping and then practice with my Hypnobirthing CD. Then there will be some yogic squatting and maybe some time playing around with my camera outside since the lighting is gorgeous today. All is well.
My doctor's appointment is tomorrow afternoon. We will have to have "the talk" about what comes next week since I will hit the 41 week mark on Monday, but I have confidence it will go well.
I'll leave you with a quick quote from Josie - which was beyond hysterical to actually hear the way she said this. "Mommy, you go to the bathroom about 100 times a day. And it is ri-DIC-u-lous!" (Ha, she's right. It is.)
I did realize yesterday, while trying to get in some early spring shopping for our little ladies, that it's no longer a good idea for me to be out walking around with the rest of the world. There's just something about being over 40 weeks pregnant with a baby half way down the birth canal that makes it nothing short of insane to try to do much of anything. So, I threw in the towel yesterday and have decided to stick close to home from now on. House is clean, laundry is caught-up and nothing left to do but to wait. (And trust me I am so grateful for this down time.)
So - with that - I'm going to take shower then make myself some lunch. Maybe do some online shopping and then practice with my Hypnobirthing CD. Then there will be some yogic squatting and maybe some time playing around with my camera outside since the lighting is gorgeous today. All is well.
My doctor's appointment is tomorrow afternoon. We will have to have "the talk" about what comes next week since I will hit the 41 week mark on Monday, but I have confidence it will go well.
I'll leave you with a quick quote from Josie - which was beyond hysterical to actually hear the way she said this. "Mommy, you go to the bathroom about 100 times a day. And it is ri-DIC-u-lous!" (Ha, she's right. It is.)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Spring's Earliest Child
“With rushing winds and gloomy skies, The dark and stubborn Winter dies:
Far-off, unseen, Spring faintly cries, Bidding her earliest child arise; March!”
Bayard Taylor
I've come to realize in the past 24 hours that there is an enormous difference between February 28th and March 1st. And this epiphany is kind of blowing my mind. Those of you who have been following along know everything we've been through to move from Three Schneiders to Four. And there's just something deeply symbolic about it being March now that feels magical and perfectly-timed now that it's here.
No fan of winter, I get absolutely giddy with the first signs of spring every year. This weekend we had a spring preview and spent most of the day Sunday in the yard. We planned our garden, started clearing space in the backyard for the swingset for our little girls, kicked soccer balls through the "peace tree", drew on the sidewalks, blew bubbles and made all kinds of plans for the spring and summer as a family of four. On more than one occasion, I just paused and took a deep breath and thought "Wow. I am SO lucky."
It feels like we are turning a corner. Finally. And I think that Roly waiting until March to join us represents that. We can leave the winter behind and start focusing on things like the daffodils and tulips poking up through the dirt in the front yard and all the birds that are already back in town. I've always been a huge optimist, but lost a little of that part of myself over the past couple of years. I feel it coming back...and it feels great!
Here are some pictures from Sunday in the sunshine. The promise of spring. The sweetest little smiles.
And SO much gratitude!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Due Date, Schmue Date!
Today was my due date. And, unless I go into labor and deliver in the next 2.5 hours, then this date is going to come and go like the other 280 days since we conceived this little bunny. Oh do I have LOTS to say about due dates, what they mean, what they don't mean and what I'd like to tell the world about the whole thing but I'm actually going to censor myself. (And doing so mostly because I'm focusing on the positive right now and launching into my case about why it's a bunch of hooey to mess with nature when there's no real reason to will just raise my blood pressure which is the opposite of what Roly Poly needs right now.)
So.... let's just go with this... I didn't battle infertility, lose three babies, spend several months on some form of bedrest and six weeks on my back (which resulted in having to basically quit my job btw) and go through the emotional and physical trauma that has been the last two years all to throw in the towel this close to the end. Sure, sure, sure there are good reasons for medical induction. But I've got ZERO of them at the moment. So, we're just going to sit back and wait for the little lady to make her grand entrance. If there's anything we've learned through this experience, it's 1) there's no need to worry until it's actually time to worry and 2) everything happens for a reason.
Obviously the baby's health is our TOP priority and if does become medically necessary to intervene then we will do so (duh) but after lots of soul-searching over the past couple of days, Lou and I just aren't willing to compromise what matters most to us in the name of some arbitrary date. The bottom line - we think this little girl deserves a chance to have a peaceful, joyous, natural birth and it's just not right for us to mess with that. (We both have no doubt that intervening is the reason Josie got stuck during labor and had such a hard time. She wasn't ready.)
Thanks to all of you who have reached out with emails and messages of support in sharing our opinions. It helps cover up all the "noise" of the rest of the world who seems to think a due date is an expiration date. After all, she's an amazing gift - not a gallon of milk. :)
So.... let's just go with this... I didn't battle infertility, lose three babies, spend several months on some form of bedrest and six weeks on my back (which resulted in having to basically quit my job btw) and go through the emotional and physical trauma that has been the last two years all to throw in the towel this close to the end. Sure, sure, sure there are good reasons for medical induction. But I've got ZERO of them at the moment. So, we're just going to sit back and wait for the little lady to make her grand entrance. If there's anything we've learned through this experience, it's 1) there's no need to worry until it's actually time to worry and 2) everything happens for a reason.
Obviously the baby's health is our TOP priority and if does become medically necessary to intervene then we will do so (duh) but after lots of soul-searching over the past couple of days, Lou and I just aren't willing to compromise what matters most to us in the name of some arbitrary date. The bottom line - we think this little girl deserves a chance to have a peaceful, joyous, natural birth and it's just not right for us to mess with that. (We both have no doubt that intervening is the reason Josie got stuck during labor and had such a hard time. She wasn't ready.)
Thanks to all of you who have reached out with emails and messages of support in sharing our opinions. It helps cover up all the "noise" of the rest of the world who seems to think a due date is an expiration date. After all, she's an amazing gift - not a gallon of milk. :)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Quick Quote
Oh this child absolutely cracks us up!
Josie to Lou and I at bedtime last night: "We need to go to Target tomorrow. I'm gonna need some new toys. Venus (the cat) scratched mine all up. You should see all the holes in everything. She put holes and scratches in all my toys with her claws. Don't worry, Target has new ones." (Sidebar -Venus has never laid a single paw on one of her toys.) "We really need to go Old Navy too! I need all new clothes. All of my clothes shrank. You can check! They shrank all the way down to size Zero-T!! That's too small for me. But Old Navy has 5T so we can get all my new stuff there."
(With convincing arguments like these, she just might follow in her dad's legal career footsteps.)
Josie to Lou and I at bedtime last night: "We need to go to Target tomorrow. I'm gonna need some new toys. Venus (the cat) scratched mine all up. You should see all the holes in everything. She put holes and scratches in all my toys with her claws. Don't worry, Target has new ones." (Sidebar -Venus has never laid a single paw on one of her toys.) "We really need to go Old Navy too! I need all new clothes. All of my clothes shrank. You can check! They shrank all the way down to size Zero-T!! That's too small for me. But Old Navy has 5T so we can get all my new stuff there."
(With convincing arguments like these, she just might follow in her dad's legal career footsteps.)
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Friday, February 25, 2011
Tears, Fears & Focusing on Four
This is the look we've been seeing the most on sweet little Posie's face lately: total worry. The poor thing. Seriously, she's been a deep thinker since the day she was born. She always has big questions (just this week asking where all the dinosaurs went, how long she's going to be alive, where she was before she was in my tummy, etc) and she worries. A lot. Sometimes it's about little things (like last night when she asked me if she really could turn into an apple from eating too many apples at snacktime at school) and sometimes it's about big things (like if she is still going to be able to cuddle me when Roly Poly is here). All told, I really hate to label her but she's an emotional kid and that's just who she is. It's the reason she's never been a good sleeper, but it's also the reason she's a beautiful, empathetic three-year-old who genuinely just wants everyone around her to be happy. Someday I have no doubt that it will be these exact traits that make her the amazing human being we are watching her continue to grow into. But for now, always chewing on something, always with that worried little look in her eyes...we know she's processing big thoughts in that little mind. And we know that she's afraid of the changes to come. And we know she can sense we're a little afraid to. And so we let her into our bed a little sooner than we would've a few weeks ago. And so we take turns pulling her close to us at night. And so we sneak in every smooch we can get. And we love as much as it is possible to love anyone - just waiting for the moment soon to come when the three of us get to experience loving someone new just as much - together.
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