"I-Day"

March 7th, 2011: Induction-Day

It's been a good weekend with Tia, Tio, Lyla, Jack, Grandma & DD here to distract us from the fact that Roly Poly is running behind schedule. For one thing, it took away all the fears I've had for the past 41 weeks that they wouldn't make it to Cincinnati for the birth and it's kept a very impatient Josie preoccupied as well.

So...here are the details (don't read on if things like a gal's cervix freak you out). At 1pm tomorrow we have an appointment in our doctor's office to have my membranes stripped. (Note: this is the exact thing that we had done at the 40 week mark with Josie and feel like it was the reason for our long and difficult labor with her.) As far as induction techniques go, this is widely considered the least invasive of medical interventions - and just trust me when I say we've tried all the non-medical methods. **Hopefully** this will kick things into gear and we'll shortly be in labor ourselves without further intervention.  It worked with Josie, so we are confident it will.

If not, at 1am tomorrow night (technically 1am Tuesday 3/7/11) we will be officially induced at Good Samaritan Hospital. (Yes, 1am which is crazy but they schedule them every two hours 24/7 - don't get me started on the insanity of this. Likely the topic of a later post.)  And here is where I reach out to all of you for your advice - if things haven't started on their own by 1am, I will have the choice between having my water broken or starting on pitocin. Does anyone out there know which is the lesser of two evils?  (My gut says go for broken water over pit but my water broke with Josie with my fourth contraction and I labored for 18 hours sans water & have heard that labor after broken water is more intense than labor with water. So - I guess the question is: would it be better - knowing that we are going for another natural, unmedicated birth -  to go on low-dose pit with my water intact or to break my water and hope I don't have to ever have the pit? Thoughts?! Experience? Anyone?)

So - that's the "plan".  In other news, please send Josie some love. She's a super-emotional, way-more-sensitive-than-usual, pretty-darn-freaked-out-about-the-whole-thing little girl right now.  Luckily, she's great at communicating with us and we've been able to address some of her fears (which range from thinking cousin Lyla is going to take Roly Poly with her back to Chicago to believing that Lou & I are going to have to stay at the hospital for 100 days).  It's a pretty emotional time for the Schneiders. Thanks for the love.

We will keep everyone posted here and on facebook.  Stay tuned...

(Oh - I forgot to mention - there is actually good reason for this induction tomorrow. I'm not going to actually go into it right now, but I promise you all that you will agree with our decision 100%.)

An un-report, 40wks 4days

This isn't much of a report, because frankly not much has changed since my last update.  I am in great spirits and know that every day brings us one day closer to the big moment.  I've been getting lots of yoga and meditation in which I think will end up being the silver lining of this whole waiting game. The weather has been cooperating and we've had lots of sunshine which really does make each day easier. 

I did realize yesterday, while trying to get in some early spring shopping for our little ladies, that it's no longer a good idea for me to be out walking around with the rest of the world.  There's just something about being over 40 weeks pregnant with a baby half way down the birth canal that makes it nothing short of insane to try to do much of anything.  So, I threw in the towel yesterday and have decided to stick close to home from now on.  House is clean, laundry is caught-up and nothing left to do but to wait. (And trust me I am so grateful for this down time.)

So - with that - I'm going to take shower then make myself some lunch. Maybe do some online shopping and then practice with my Hypnobirthing CD. Then there will be some yogic squatting and maybe some time playing around with my camera outside since the lighting is gorgeous today.  All is well.   

My doctor's appointment is tomorrow afternoon. We will have to have "the talk" about what comes next week since I will hit the 41 week mark on Monday, but I have confidence it will go well.

I'll leave you with a quick quote from Josie - which was beyond hysterical to actually hear the way she said this.  "Mommy, you go to the bathroom about 100 times a day. And it is ri-DIC-u-lous!" (Ha, she's right. It is.)

Spring's Earliest Child

“With rushing winds and gloomy skies, The dark and stubborn Winter dies: 

Far-off, unseen, Spring faintly cries, Bidding her earliest child arise; March!”

Bayard Taylor

I've come to realize in the past 24 hours that there is an enormous difference between February 28th and March 1st. And this epiphany is kind of blowing my mind.  Those of you who have been following along know everything we've been through to move from Three Schneiders to Four.  And there's just something deeply symbolic about it being March now that feels magical and perfectly-timed now that it's here.  

No fan of winter, I get absolutely giddy with the first signs of spring every year.  This weekend we had a spring preview and spent most of the day Sunday in the yard. We planned our garden, started clearing space in the backyard for the swingset for our little girls, kicked soccer balls through the "peace tree", drew on the sidewalks, blew bubbles and made all kinds of plans for the spring and summer as a family of four.  On more than one occasion, I just paused and took a deep breath and thought "Wow. I am SO lucky."  

It feels like we are turning a corner. Finally.  And I think that Roly waiting until March to join us represents that.  We can leave the winter behind and start focusing on things like the daffodils and tulips poking up through the dirt in the front yard and all the birds that are already back in town. I've always been a huge optimist, but lost a little of that part of myself over the past couple of years. I feel it coming back...and it feels great!

Here are some pictures from Sunday in the sunshine.  The promise of spring. The sweetest little smiles.

And SO much gratitude!

Due Date, Schmue Date!

Today was my due date.  And, unless I go into labor and deliver in the next 2.5 hours, then this date is going to come and go like the other 280 days since we conceived this little bunny. Oh do I have LOTS to say about due dates, what they mean, what they don't mean and what I'd like to tell the world about the whole thing but I'm actually going to censor myself. (And doing so mostly because I'm focusing on the positive right now and launching into my case about why it's a bunch of hooey to mess with nature when there's no real reason to will just raise my blood pressure which is the opposite of what Roly Poly needs right now.)

So.... let's just go with this... I didn't battle infertility, lose three babies, spend several months on some form of bedrest and six weeks on my back (which resulted in having to basically quit my job btw) and go through the emotional and physical trauma that has been the last two years all to throw in the towel this close to the end.  Sure, sure, sure there are good reasons for medical induction. But I've got ZERO of them at the moment. So, we're just going to sit back and wait for the little lady to make her grand entrance. If there's anything we've learned through this experience, it's 1) there's no need to worry until it's actually time to worry and 2) everything happens for a reason.

Obviously the baby's health is our TOP priority and if does become medically necessary to intervene then we will do so (duh) but after lots of soul-searching over the past couple of days, Lou and I just aren't willing to compromise what matters most to us in the name of some arbitrary date. The bottom line - we think this little girl deserves a chance to have a peaceful, joyous, natural birth and it's just not right for us to mess with that. (We both have no doubt that intervening is the reason Josie got stuck during labor and had such a hard time. She wasn't ready.)

Thanks to all of you who have reached out with emails and messages of support in sharing our opinions. It helps cover up all the "noise" of the rest of the world who seems to think a due date is an expiration date. After all, she's an amazing gift - not a gallon of milk. :)

Quick Quote

Oh this child absolutely cracks us up!

Josie to Lou and I at bedtime last night: "We need to go to Target tomorrow. I'm gonna need some new toys. Venus (the cat) scratched mine all up. You should see all the holes in everything. She put holes and scratches in all my toys with her claws. Don't worry, Target has new ones." (Sidebar -Venus has never laid a single paw on one of her toys.) "We really need to go Old Navy too! I need all new clothes. All of my clothes shrank. You can check! They shrank all the way down to size Zero-T!! That's too small for me. But Old Navy has 5T so we can get all my new stuff there."

(With convincing arguments like these, she just might follow in her dad's legal career footsteps.)

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Tears, Fears & Focusing on Four

This is the look we've been seeing the most on sweet little Posie's face lately: total worry. The poor thing. Seriously, she's been a deep thinker since the day she was born. She always has big questions (just this week asking where all the dinosaurs went, how long she's going to be alive, where she was before she was in my tummy, etc) and she worries. A lot.  Sometimes it's about little things (like last night when she asked me if she really could turn into an apple from eating too many apples at snacktime at school) and sometimes it's about big things (like if she is still going to be able to cuddle me when Roly Poly is here).  All told, I really hate to label her but she's an emotional kid and that's just who she is.  It's the reason she's never been a good sleeper, but it's also the reason she's a beautiful, empathetic three-year-old who genuinely just wants everyone around her to be happy. Someday I have no doubt that it will be these exact traits that make her the amazing human being we are watching her continue to grow into.  But for now, always chewing on something, always with that worried little look in her eyes...we know she's processing big thoughts in that little mind.  And we know that she's afraid of the changes to come. And we know she can sense we're a little afraid to.  And so we let her into our bed a little sooner than we would've a few weeks ago. And so we take turns pulling her close to us at night. And so we sneak in every smooch we can get. And we love as much as it is possible to love anyone - just waiting for the moment soon to come when the three of us get to experience loving someone new just as much - together.

Mystery Diagnosis

It took exactly four rounds of me getting the "stomach bug" over the last month for us to finally figure out what the heck has been going on. We doubted that it was just the typical stomach virus for a few reasons - it hit me at the exact same time (about 2 am) each time, it was almost exactly a week apart each time, no one in the house ever got it, the first time I had it I was still on bedrest and not really exposed to many germs, the symptoms were the same each time - vomiting & diarrhea, whole body aches & pains, exhaustion & lethargy and what I even described as "feeling like I had been poisoned."  And it would come, hit me like a ton of bricks, render me useless for 24 hours and then be gone.  Very strange indeed. Four times in four weeks.

We finally figured it out!! It was an allergic reaction to the prescription omeprazole (prilosec over the counter) that my doctor prescribed me for my massive heartburn. I was taking it about once a week - right before bed. The night before last, I took it again and woke up four hours later with the exact same "stomach bug" symptoms I had the other three times. The bad news - I spent all day yesterday feeling like I wanted to die again and will spend all day again today trying to feel human again. The good news - it has to be the omeprazole (the most common side effects, said to be experienced by 1% of all users, are the exact symptoms I had) AND since I definitely won't be taking that stuff anymore I likely won't have to go through this mess ever again!

39 weeks & everything that comes with that

39 weeks pregnant

The emotions of being 39 weeks pregnant are no laughing matter.  I remember feeling very overwhelmed, confused, scared to death and lots more when I was a week away from my due date with Josephine. Multiply all of that by about a billion and that's how we're feeling right now.  It's a crazy enough time already, but add to that the reality of being convinced we would deliver prematurely, still trying to get my body functioning properly again after bedrest and the complex emotions surrounding the losses we've had and the miracle that is this pregnancy in the first place and well, things are just a bit of a mess around here.  (Not to mention the guilt I feel every time I even come close to complaining or feeling frustrated. Getting here to "Four Schneiders" has been such a long road and I feel awful when I start to take this pregnancy for granted - especially with some many people close to us struggling with infertility themselves.)

I am trying very hard to stay focused on this enormous blessing instead of getting overwhelmed by the emotions of it all, but it's tough. (The dreaded 39 week dr's appt today didn't help matters. I really, really didn't want to go and promised myself the whole way there that I wouldn't get upset or let the results of "the 39 week check" bother me, but I failed miserably and had an epic meltdown on the way home.  Long story short...no change since last week...talk of an induction next week which we want to avoid at all costs...sarcasm about our plan for a natural delivery...UGH!)

With that, I promise I'll stop complaining but I did want to give you all a quick update. In other news - I have definitely moved out of the "nesting" phase and feel myself moving into what we've been referring to as the "mama cat" phase.  As I told Lou today, I'm ready to go find a quiet isolated place under the porch and have my kittens. In other words, don't be surprised (and please don't take it personally) if I don't answer your calls, return your emails, etc. I'm trusting my instincts and starting to turn inward.

I'll leave you with one of the out-takes from the shots I was trying to get of my belly. As I was scanning back through the pics, this one cracked me up! Notice how my belly, the mirror, and the vase are all oddly similar.

Notice any similarities?

Coming soon...an update on how Josie is handling all of this.  She's a little trooper but her tiny reserve of patience is definitely running low. Keep sending those good vibes everyone.  :)

The Girls' Bedroom

I know, I know... it took me MUCH longer to get these posted than I said it would. So, thanks for your patience.  :)
As I think I've mentioned, Josie & Roly are going to share a bedroom. This came about for a few different reasons: 1) We wanted to keep the playroom. 2) Josie really doesn't do anything besides sleep in her room anyway (when she actually sleeps in there & not in our bed but that's another story altogether). 3) Josie begged & begged for us to let them share a room. 4) It was much cheaper and easier than creating another nursery. 5) As soon as I found out that Land of Nod started selling crib-sized versions of Josie's garden bedding, the universe had practically made the decision for me.  

VOILA!  Here it is - the girls' bedroom!

This was the first arrangement (adding the crib to where the dresser used to be because Josie refused to move her bed):

Matching bedding! :)

 Finally...after some creative parenting (that involved using Josie's fear of the closet to our advantage and suggesting that she'd love sleeping under the windows so she could hear the birds better in the morning and could look out and see the sun shining from her bed)...we got the arrangement we wanted.  And we are all SOOO happy with it! 

The Crib, where the head of Josie's bed used to be

Josie's Bed in the window corner

The Baby's View from her crib

The Closet Solution (no more doors, lots more shelves)

And here are a few pics that I captured while trying to get the room pics over the course of a couple of days:

Josie - actually wanting to be in a crib - for the first time ever...

Posing in the crib...

The next day, Posing like Venus...

Trying out the new bedside lamp while simultaneously making a huge fashion statement...

And here is the playroom that necessitated the shared bedroom in the first place...

And last but not least, what would a blogpost be without a random shot from the week? This is Josie the morning of her school Valentine's Day party about ready to explode with excitement (after asking me to take her picture for Valentine's Day).

One final thought: I really do promise to make my best effort not to always lump our two little darlings into "the girls" category forever - knowing full well the importance of fostering the individual development of each of them (I'm a little obsessed with reading and learning more on this topic at the moment) - BUT - I sure am having fun with it at the moment. :)

Stranded (oops)

Rescued (Thanks Daddy!)

It has been beautiful in Cincinnati and we still have a whole lotta neighborhood to explore. It has been a good combination - no school for Josie, no more bedrest for me and lots of unexpected February sunshine.
Yesterday we decided to try a new route for a bike ride and walk. It sounded good - in theory - until we realized a little too late that the street I thought we'd take back didn't have sidewalks - which left me holding Josie's hand on one side and carrying a tricycle with the other - and both of us heading another block away from home than we originally planned. And that's when Josie declared she was done. Uh-oh! It was too far to go back the way we came without a break. We kept going one more block to a little park where the plan was to have a snack and some water then head home. Yea - not happening. Josie looked at me and said: "We are never going to get home because I am not riding my book anymore. I am too tired." She wouldn't go another inch and I certainly couldn't carry her and a trike home in my 'big as a house' condition.
And that's when I sucked it up and made the "MAY DAY MAY DAY" call to Lou. I know he was ready to kill me but he came to rescue us anyway. (Thank goodness we only live a few miles from his office.) The funniest thing - Lou pulls up and Josie yells out "I am crying tears of joy!" I think she was a little freaked out that we were actually stuck. It was pretty hilarious but lesson learned. I won't be that ambitious again.

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